I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
