i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
