i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Holy sore nipples Batman
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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