i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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