let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
