Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i drank out of a bidet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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