Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
