he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
