Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize