Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My breasts were aching with rage.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
