Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize