I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
