She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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