yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
