got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
