Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
