and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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