we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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