God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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