I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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