At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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