Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
