he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
