If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
