I think scott just propositioned me for sex
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
