her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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