did you get engaged???
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
