turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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