I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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