We won't sleep together?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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