no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
