she woke up with a sticky ear
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
