OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
