so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
