I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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