I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so let's talk penis.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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