Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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