My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
