now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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