you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
