I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
