it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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