So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just had sex on a roof
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
