now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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