Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
only you would photoshop your dick
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
