oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
