Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
