Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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