I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
