So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
