it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
should my penis look like a turkey
We had to coat check the pizza.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
