I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
