Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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