Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
