quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Rumble strips road head = magical
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize