i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
