best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
