i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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