i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
