we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
