I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize